Entering the Stock market.

So you want to make some delicious matzah ball soup? No worries here are the easy to follow steps to make your own bowl of outstanding turkey & matzah ball soup.

Step 1: Cook an elaborate Christmas roast turkey dinner.

Step 2: Wait for two days for all the turkey to be eaten.

Step 3: Scrape the last bits of stuffing out of the turkey. Put all the bones in a big pot along with some onion halves (unpeeled, extra colour), carrots, celery (blegh), bay leaves, garlic cloves, peppercorns, salt, and a healthy sprig of rosemary and sage.

Step 4: Let it cook for three hours. It won’t look better, just different.

Step 5: Double strain your stock. Once through a sieve, really mush all the liquid out of the veg. Then again through a cheesecloth to get it really smoooooth.

Step 6: Leave it to think about what it’s done.
Then when it’s cooled to room temp, put it in the fridge.

Step 7: Admire your Christmas tree.

Step 8: Attempt one, make the matzah balls too big. They take forever to cook through and leave you very little stock. Tasty but not ideal. The carrot, corn, and onion really is the saving grace.
Step 8.5: Have a minor crisis when you realise this is the first soup you’ve had since 2017 when you had your wisdom teeth out and had too much soup.

Step 9: Find your wisdom teeth.

Step 10: Go to the supermarket for the onion powder and garlic powder you did without yesterday. Find an excellent stick insect on the way.
Matzah ball recipe according to that one website:

105g matzah meal

1 tsp baking powder

1/4 tsp salt, onion powder, and garlic powder respectively.

3 eggs

3 tbsp of melted schmaltz, or margarine if you haven’t got schmaltz (I did not.) So long as you don’t use dairy fat because keep it kosher kids.

Mix dry ingredients.
Mix wet ingredients

Mix wet ingredients into dry ingredients

Leave in fridge for half an hour before rolling into balls smaller than 1 inch across.

Add to boiling/simmering soup (it should be moving and shaking but not volcanic)

Leave them in there with the lid on for 30 minutes. No peeking.
They’re cooked when you chop one in half and it’s the same light colour all the way through, no dark undercooked/raw areas.

Step 11: Attempt two. The next day, make the matzah balls waaaay smaller and have more stock in the pan.
You have triumphed. You win soup.
Enjoy your soup.
Your weird religious fusion soup.